New Year's Eve; or Bored and On Hold

Disclaimer: Me and my friends do bad things. Then, after all the bad things have happened I write them down because I think they make good stories. Some people may not be happy with how they are represented here, but that's too bad because it's my story. Plus stories aren't too fun when people are careful with their words.


I awoke early that morning. I had managed to get to bed before midnight the night before; and it was a Friday too, it was almost mind-boggling to get to bed so early. But I awoke and began to be productive. I spent the early part of my day doing laundry. Boring, but clean clothes are good to have. Anyway, I was just keeping myself busy until it was time to start the preperation for the party.

Dennis showed up at about noon and was trying to rush me along, but I made him wait until I was done with laundry before we could start. I mean, people weren't really going to arrive for this shindig until at least 8 pm, so why rush me at noon? I finished my laundry, took a shower, and then got dressed in my party clothes (there'll be more on this later). After Dennis had showered and changed as well (and he was rushing me?) it was finally time to head to the liquor store.

At the liquor store there was a line that wnet all around the store, but at least this year the line stayed in side the store. We got a fifth of Jager 1/5, a half gallon of vodka, a fifth of Kahlua, a fifth of Bailey's, a half gallon of rum, a half gallon of gin, some Kahlua chocolates, four shot glasses, and a pack of cigarettes. There may have been more, and there propbably was, but that's all that I can remember. That cost us about $150.00. Not exactly chump change but hey, we needed liquor for the party.

Our next stop was a bank so I could get some cash out and give it to Dennis; he was being generous enough to put the hotel rooms on his card so I figured I should try to reimburse him as soon as possible. And then we made our way downtown in an attempt to meet up with Will. When we made it to his place we called him, but he wouldn't answer his phone, so we decided that we should go grocery shopping instead.

Now at Safeway, a store that I truly dislike but I'll leave that for another time, we began to shop for various items. First was beer and mixers, and then came the food. All in all we spent about an hour and $70.00 at Safeway. We then attempted to push the cart back to our car, but they have that fancy shopping cart theft prevention device that makes it so the cart won't roll if you try to take it across the street. I thought it was pretty lame, we had every intention of bringing the cart back when we were done with it. Instead Dennis and I had to carry a case of Pabst each, then 4 2-liter cokes, 2 2-liter tonic waters, 2 bottles of champagne, a whole bunch of food. Well, it was a pretty damn annoying trip to the car, we both had to take a break half way and readjust our bags. We had an hour until it was time to check into the hotel so we had a quick bite to eat and then decided to go check in a little early.

I wish I had a copy of the party waiver that they made Dennis sign, but I don't. It basically said that you wouldn't throw a party of more than six people to a room (that meant we were allowed to have twelve) and if you broke the rules they would kick you out and still keep your money. So we headed upstairs to check out the rooms.

A small aside: I experienced the most narcissistic moment of my entire existence when we were first walking out of the elevator towards our room. There was a mirror across the way and I was looking at myself in my suit jacket and tie and nice pants and I'd shaved that day (still had the mustache and goatee, but no annoying sideburns). All I could think was, "My God, you're a slick looking motherfucker." It was difficult for me to stop staring at myself. And I know you're gonna think that that is horrible, but hey, I did let you know that this was the peak of my narcissism. Usually I look into the mirror and try to do everything I can to get away from the image, or at least I don't care what it looks like. I think me and suits is a kind of scary combination. I'm going to have to be careful in the future.

When we entered the first room I have to admit I was a little disappointed. It was much smaller than I expected, and the two full beds took up way too much room. But then we decided to go to the other room. It was adjoining, the desk clerk had told us that they weren't, but we still had to go around to get into the room. Any disappointment that I felt from the first room was made up for when I walked into the second room. This room was on the corner of the building and was much larger. To give us even more room later on we took apart one of the double beds and placed it on top of the other one. It made for a very bouncy time, but I digress because that happened later. After checking out the rooms, and making sure that the door connecting the two rooms would stay open (thank you hotel stationary), Dennis and I began to bring up the supplies. It only took us two trips, well three because we missed the party platter but Dennis did that way later in the night. We took a while to fill up both bathroom sinks with ice and put the Jager and champagne in them. Dennis put plastic bags over the smoke detectors so that the cigarette smoke would not set them off, I thought that it was both funny and very safe, especially since a fire seemed entirely possible on this type of night.

After setting everything up Dennis took a nap and I watched Tommy Boy. I called a couple of people, and Dennis would get the occasional phone call as well. I have to say that it was a fairly boring two hour period. So I'll just skip to the part where people began to arrive.

Abel showed up with one of his friends from work, I'm not sure of his name but I think he was a Brandon. It was at this point that we moved the bed to have room for a dance floor. We broke into the booze to really get our night started. Will and Desi showed up a little bit later, Desi seemed to be a big fan of the giant bed that we had built, it seemed like she was up there for most of the night, although I do remember being in other spots as well. After this the details begin to get fuzzy, so I'll just tell it in the order I remember things rather than in chronological order because I'm too lazy to do the research.

Throughout the night there were a lot of people that showed up, as far as I remember everybody came before midnight. There was well, too many people to list, and people were constantly coming in and out of the party, but that's how parties go. Anyway, let's get to the highlights.

One girl, Jennifer, got so drunk that at one point I turned around and she was laying against one of the beds in the smaller room. Her shirt was up around her head and I think she was laughing. Later in the night her and some guy spent considerable time in the bathroom. Other people were not very happy because someone was in the other bathroom at the same time. I thought it was funny.

Arun gave Abel a call, and a mission, to drink a drink for every letter in his full name. Arun Chandra Srivastiva. 21 drinks. And Abel did it. There were a couple of times where we weren't sure whether or not he would, but he did it. He also spent the majority of his night in his boxers. He would have been full on nude, and in the middle of the hallway, if it hadn't been for Dennis. Instead everybody had to settle for watching Abel attempt a backflip, I wasn't actually there for that. His attempt did not work, and everyone said it looked like it hurt really bad but Abel said he had no back or neck pain in the morning, so go figure. He also spent a considerable amount of time wrestling his friend, I could of swore his name was Brandon. Later Brandon passed out, before midnight. He woke up with a ridiculous amount of writing on him. I'm sure he was just glad that we didn't have any permanent markers. But back to Abel. I remember at one point he was dancing with the beautiful Ann, which reminds me that I too was dancing with a beautiful girl (but more on that later). All in all I think Abel enjoyed himself, and helped everyone else to enjoy the party. One more quick note, he barely remembers the New Year happening (admittedly he was about 17 drinks deep at this point) but also because he was in the restroom skiing with Dennis and Aaron. It would of been really funny if Cream was playing in the background. Oh yah, what a party.

Hmm, now how about me. I had a great time. But as I think back on it although I enjoyed myself immensely it would be ridiculously boring to recount the things that happened to me. They're only exciting from my perspective, and not from yours. Besides, it's party of a story to be told at a later time.

Back to more highlights. How about when Morningstar (how's that for a name with some meaning) tried to fight Kalei. In retrospect that shit cracks me up. So Kalei, Jessie, and I were laying in bed talking about Christmas when all of the sudden Morningstar jumped up. "You talking shit bitch?" Dennis jumped up just as quickly and blocked her from bum rushing the bed. We were all taken aback at this. I'm still not sure what Morningstar thought she heard, but I swear to GOd that I was in the middle of talking about my family's love of boggle, and Christmas boggle tournaments, when she flipped out. Eventually Dennis kicked her out because she was just looking to cause trouble. It'll probably be a while before she comes and hangs out again.

After Morningstar had left Dennis was having problems sleeping so he decided that it'd be fun to mess with the rest of us. He basically went on for two and half hours with skeet jokes. Skizzle on your bizzle, and then he rams his phallus shaped pillow at your butt. Hide and go skeet, laying next the bed and then jumping up so he could hit us with the pillow while he yells "Skeet skeet skeet" over and over again. Skizzle on your fizzle (he kept hitting me in the back of the head, so not so much my fizzle as headizzle). He built a fort, basically threw a mattress on top of Kalei, Jessie, and I and then jumped on top of it. The craziest thing was that none of us could stop laughing. It was friggin' hilarious. After a while though, he finally quieted down and we got to sleep.

In the morning I woke up when Abel came and slapped me on the ass. Damn that hurt. It took us a while to finally clear out of the room. A bunch of us went out to breakfast at IHOP, then we went home. After breakfast I went to go buy some books (alright they were comic books). When I got home everyone was passed out in various positions around my apartment. You know it's a good night when so many people are passed out that two guys are having to share a couch.

Anyway, that was it. It's my favorite New Year's Eve party so far. But I'm sure that they'll only get better.