Friends

One of the things that makes friends so special is that you get to choose them. In great contrast to your family who you don't get to choose at all. You are born into family. I bring this up because this weekend I made someone cry. The reason that she was crying is that we were once friends, but I have decided that I no longer want to be her friend. I have spoken of her before, she is the one who beat up her boyfriend. My roommates have tried to get me to make amends with her, multiple times. They kept inviting her over and hoping that it would make me forgive her.

The first time that she came over after 'the incident' I was very drunk. We were all sitting around and attempting to have a conversation. Well, all of us except for me. I would just break into rants about how she had hit him. Stuff like, "I mean, you hit him in the face. So hard that you actually chipped his tooth. Flying across the room and doing some real damage." It was pretty obvious that although everyone else had put her transgression behind them that I had not. Eventually I had to be taken aside and told that I needed to stop what I was doing. I decided that the best thing to do would be to just go to bed.

The next day I told my roommate that it would be best if she didn't come over anymore. He didn't really understand, but he said that he wouldn't bring her over anymore. And of course he did anyway.

The next time he came over I was given notice that she was coming. I was told that I wasn't allowed to be mean to her. She showed up and tried to talk to me, but I refused. I sat on the opposite end of the room from her and tried to avoid making any sort of contact at all. Eventually I decided that going to sleep would probably be the safest thing to do.

The next day I talked to my roommate and let him know that it would be best if she didn't come over anymore. I told him she had last night for free, and it was really because of him that I gave her that, but the next time she showed up she would leave in tears. He said okay, that he wouldn't bring her over anymore. And of course, he did anyway.

This time she showed and and I wasn't prepared. Nobody told me that she was on the way. I was pissed because I was about ready to go to bed when she showed up, and so she showed up, said she wanted to talk with me and I told her that I didn't want to talk to her and tried to go to bed. She followed me into my bedroom and proceeded to talk with me. We were probably in there for a good twenty to thirty minutes. All that I said was that I was done with her, that I didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She went on and on about how much it hurt that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. And how she wasn't the only one at fault in the night in question. And she cried, a lot. And I was good, I didn't laugh at her once. It was hard not to, but I didn't. And she just kept going on and on about how she really wanted to be my friend. And I just let her know that that was not going to happen. Finally she left my room and I went to bed.

I talked to my roommate one more time, I called him an ass, or a dick, or some such thing. And then I told him that this time she really needed to not come over anymore. He said that it wouldn't be a problem because he figured that she didn't want to come over anymore anyway. Then he asked why I made her cry. And I reminded him that I'd given him warning that the next time she showed up that she would leave in tears.

The whole point to me is that I get to choose my friends. I choose who I spend my time with and I try to make good decisions about that. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but once they've crossed that line there's really no coming back. Once I decide that it would be a bad idea for me to hang out with them then they're gone. It's not always easy, but that's okay, because that's life. And I know that my friends are good people who will help me.