Monday, March 26, 2007

Eden (The fun before the Fall)

So on the way to Santa Barbara Cruz wanted to stop by the town he grew up in. I have to say that Hollister was a very different place than what I was used to. While we were there I saw someone who was growing pot in his own backyard. I was also at a party (at the place that I was staying) when the homeowner decided it would be a good idea to show me his piece (and not like "oh that's a cool pipe" piece, more like "holy shit is he really just waving that gun around?" piece). Good times. Also Cruz and his buddy got into an altercation at one of the fast food joints down the street (I think it was a DQ). But anyway, after two days in Hollister it was time to get to Santa Barbara so we could move into our new place with our two beautiful new roommates.

After moving in Cruz and I basically sat inside for the next couple of days (much to the chagrine of the roommates we were replacing). What can I say except that I was tired and wanted to read (I read like I was in college, I actually read even more than when I was in college I was going through thousand page novels in a day and a half. I also got into the habit of spending a lot of money. Partially because Cruz had none, and partially because I wanted to live it up in a new place. (In hindsight my biggest mistake was moving with someone who wasn't even twenty-one when I was already twenty-two. I'm kind of a shy guy, at least until I get to know people. Never been good about introducing myself, so bars were kind of lame for me. Well, really my biggest mistake was moving with Cruz, or maybe moving at all. Ah, never mind.) So I would go and buy a couple 20 packs of Bud Light (it's what the ladies liked) and we would have a grand old time. Also since I'd lost my social security card and was waiting for it to come in the mail I wasn't able to really get the ball rolling on getting a job. So lots of drinking, some pot smoking and lots of reading were how things started. Finally Cruz landed himself a job before I did. I was not happy about this. And then I learned about temp agencies. I went in on a Friday and had a job on Monday for AIG (you'll see their commercials on TV). And thus began my life in cubicles (although really my first cubicle job was when I was 14 and my brother and I worked in the accounting department at the Rainbow Casino in Wendover). I also worked on my book quite a bit. I would write while I was on the bus going to and from work and would even take quick breaks to jot down ideas or fragments of conversations that would come to me while doing whatever I was doing there.

About midway through August, and about a week after I started my new job, Kalei and Aften came down to visit. It was a great time, for the most part. You see I had already begun to regret my decision to move down to California and be so far away from friends, family, and my romantic interest (that trepidation actually began with the aforementioned gun waving scene.) So it was a magical week where we went into the California ocean. I took a day off of work so that I could take everyone to six flags. We walked up and down State Street just seeing the sites. A Ben Harper concert happened on one of the last nights (I loved living across the street from the Santa Barbara bowl, except the night that Rod Stewart came to town, but I bet my Aunt Debbie would be jealous.) It was just a great time with that feeling of new love filling me. Of course once the girls had gone things began to get a little bit harder. (I put my beginning of depression somewhere in the beginning of September, although it happened kind of gradually so it's hard to tell.)

So Kalei and I would talk on the phone at least once a night. Also I started smoking again after almost a year and a half of being nicotine free (alright, I had a couple of cigars and smoked a hookah in that time, but that was pleasure smoking, not addiction smoking.) I spent my free time writing and reading. I started a journal (which I kept diligently through the rest of my depression and then it kind of fell off, but it kind of coincided with the fact that I began to have a social life again, but I'm getting ahead of myself again.) I worked a lot, got to go swimming with the dolphins. Went to a Pepper concert (I would end up going to three in a one year span) all alone. It was really the only bar experience that I had. I went and then I had a beer. And then I was feeling poor so I decided to have an AMF. And it was the stiffest AMF I've ever had in my life. I was tore up by the time I finished that sucker. I called all sorts of people while I was there so that they could enjoy the concert too. Ah, I forgot to mention how much online poker I was playing. But when I got home I played a $30 buy-in game and and ended up winning over a hundred bucks (it was six players and the winnings were split between the top two people.) Anyway, despite the concert experience the thought of moving back to Oregon kept becoming more and more of a thing that I thought I should do as the month went on. So by the end of the month I had decided to move back to Oregon.

Kalei came up for her birthday at the end of September. I'd already decided that I was moving back, but not until the end of October. This trip wasn't quite as great (not so much because of Kalei but because I was spiraling into deeper depression by the day.) By the time Kalei left I was fairly despondent. I called in to work after she left. And then went to work for the next couple of days. And then I decided that I just couldn't take it anymore. But maybe I should backtrack a bit. After one month of working at AIG they decided that they wanted to hire me on as a full employee rather than a temp. I was reluctant but decided that it was for the best. It was about three weeks later when I decided that I just couldn't take it anymore and left in the middle of my shift never to return. Crazily enough they paid me my full two weeks pay (I'd only worked for four days.) And then the rest of October will be dealt with later because it leads into my return to Oregon. But one final thing. A little bit before Kalei came the second time it was my roommate Bella's birthday. We decided that we were going to do mud wrestling. So both of my roommates (Bella I had a crush on and Leslie was way hot) and me and Cruz got all mudded up that night. Even after showering I still had mud on me. But anyway, more next time as I return to the northwest and feel my sanity begin to slip away.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Summertime (it's when the living's easy) - Post Collegiate Depression Part 4

So I graduated from college. I decided not to walk. Didn't want to make a big hullabaloo over a little thing like a bachelor's degree. So now that college was done it was time for me to go home. I ended up back at Kahneeta because, well, I needed the money. Life is expensive. The only thing was that it was not where I wanted to be. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I began putting in applications all over the world. Mostly just all over the country, but I put some applications in in Europe too.

All while this was going on I was doing my normal thing and doing what I could to enjoy life. Going to parties, hanging out with the friends. All in all I was really enjoying myself, even if I wasn't where I wanted to be. I just had to figure out where I wanted to be. So at one point my ex-girlfriend gave me a call and invited me to go to a wedding with her. I decided that that would be alright so I agreed to go. I guess later that night she called again, I was blacked out, and I agreed to hang out with her the Thursday before the wedding. Well that didn't happen (how could it, I don't even remember talking to her) and she got upset with me. She gave me one of those calls at like midnight where she refused to speak. Turns out I'm not very patient with people who call me up and then say nothing so I hung up on her. She proceeded to call me about 100 times over the next couple of days. Some people may think that I'm exaggerating, but I'm not; she seriously called me about every 5 minutes for the whole freaking weekend. So in the end I did not go to the wedding with her on Monday. I haven't seen her in years now, but she stills calls every couple of months, usually drunk, to ask if she can stay with me while she's in Portland. I say okay and then she doesn't come and the cycle starts all over again.

Soon after this my friend Cruz decided that he too wanted to move. He'd always wanted to live in Santa Barbara, so I told him I'd take a road trip down to Santa Barbara with him to see if I wanted to move there. Jake decided that he too would go with us on our road trip. So we went down to Santa Barbara on the 4th of July. A lot of fun is what it was. We stayed in a cheap hotel and drank an awful lot. I also met my future roommates and partied it up with them. Ah the beautiful girls of the Milpad. But more on them later.

After the trip was over my life began to get a little bit more complicated. And it all started with a trip to the Warped Tour. Well, it actually started when Jake broke up with his girlfriend Kalei a couple of months before. I'd always had a crush on her, but she was usually dating one of my friends. Makes it a little awkward to make a move. But after they broke up I decided that I would make a move. Unfortunately it was also at the time where I could finally make a move that I decided that I was moving to Santa Barbara. What happened was we got back from Santa Barbara and immediately had to go into work. So Cruz and I put in our notices that day. The next day at work I was lamenting the fact that I was going to have to miss the Warped Tour because it was happening at The Gorge. Well after work we went to a party at Kalei's house and found out that in the morning they were going to the Warped Tour in Portland (I never understood why it was so hit and miss as to whether there would be a Portland show or not, but 2004 was a hit.) So in the morning the road trip began. Jeremiah, Cruz, Jesse (Jeremiah's little brother), and I were in one car with Matt, Aften, Kalei, and I don't remember her name were in the other vehicle. We rocked some music and (due to cellular technology) kept good tabs on our fellow car. We eventually made it to the concert (I don't actually remember what the venue name is, this was before I lived in Portland remember).

While at the concert we were able to do all sorts of things. Cruz and I played ATV Offroad Fury 3 before it ever became available for sale (remember when Playstation was cool?). We also managed to smoke a joint (I had the papers, random guy without a piece had weed, together we had a good time). Flogging Molly were the best performers of the day. Atmosphere's free style was one of the worst I've ever heard, although the rest of the set was pretty good. It was cool to see NOFX too.

After the concert we decided that it'd be cool to stay in Portland for the night and go back to Madras in the morning. We were all trying to think of places to stay when it hit me, my sister lived in Hillsboro. And as an added bous she worked at a hotel (the hotel will come into play later on as well). So I gave her a call and she pulled some strings and said we could stay there at a discount. So after getting lost on the way there (Washington is the wrong way) we finally arrived in the lobby. So we checked in and went to our room. I called one bed and Jeremiah called the other. Kalei said she wanted to sleep with me (not really so much because she liked me but more because Jeremiah had been trying to date and had gotten a little overbearing about it). Next it was time to get some beer and food. So girl whose name I don't remember and I went to the store and got way more beer than we could even drink in a night. Later the other guys went out to get a ridiculous amount of food. After drinking some and gorging ourselves, as well as smoking another joint (while I was on the phone with my sister who asked me as a special favor to not do drugs at the hotel), it was time to go to bed. So we went to sleep. So Kalei and I slept in the spoon position and the only interruption was me rolling over and smacking her in the face. Also early in the morning I woke up and was extremely thirsty. I found a cup with water already in it and took a swig. It tasted awful and so I poured it out, rinsed out the cup, and got myself some proper water. In the morning Kalei was quite distressed by the fact that she couldn't find her contacts. It then dawned on me that I'd drank the saline solution and then poured her contacts down the drain. We checked out and headed back home.

So the rest of the month was a sort of blur of partying and work. Most of the partying happened at Aften's place, but there were various other parties that were memorable. Like Jake's 21st birthday at Cruz's sister's house. Everyone had a good time (except Kalei who was still dealing with getting over Jake and drank until she passed out on a couch, and Mike Meeves who had to be asked to leave for acting like an idiot). Then there was mine and Cruz's going awa party in Jeremiah's shed. I had an awesome time, so awesome in fact that I got drunk enough that I left my wallet somewhere and it was stolen. This was less than a week before I was supposed to move to Santa Barbara and find a job. A very difficult thing to do without a social security card. The night after the going away party (maybe two night's) we attended yet another party. Cruz and I decided that it was a water only affair (summer binges make you dehydrated and it's good to take a night to recover). Just after midnight Kalei asked me if I wanted to go back to Aften's place (where she had her own bed) and I of course accepted her offer. Also after midnight it was my birthday. So happy birthday to me I got with a hot girl just days before moving out of the state. I'd say it was bittersweet. I pretty much tried to spend the rest of my time in Madras hanging out with Kalei, which became awkward only on the night that I met up with Jake and I made a point of not mentioning that Kalei and I had gotten involved.

Then, two days before the end of July (and after a to Corvallis to say goodbye to Stever and Marjorie) Cruz and I set out for Santa Barbara.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Spring Term (Post Collegiate Depression Part 3)

I came back from Utah in good spirit. It was my final term of college and I was ready to enjoy myself. The only problem was that I'd planned on already being graduated, and having a source of income. So I had to get a job. And i did, as a waiter at a horrible little restaurant called The headwaters or some such nonsense.

I began the term by taking 12 credits. All fun classes. I had three english classes, a ballroom dancing class, a colloquiom on the philosophy of time, and a poetry class.

I spent most of my free time over at Stever and Marjie's place drinking and smoking to my hearts content. When I wasn't there I was often at home reading and smoking weed and playing video games. There was also an awful lot of poker being played. I actually did pretty well as far as the poker was concerned, most likely because I was playing with the same people every night and it became very easy to read just what they were going to do. I still lost at times, but I won enough that whenever I wanted to play that there was someone around who owed me a buy-in.

So after i began working, it was around the third or fourth week of the term, my boss began working me a lot. I kept telling him that I was here for school and that this was just to get me spending money, but he just kept working me more and more. I would tell him in the morning that I would have to be off by 10 in order to make it to my eleven o' clock class. And then he would let the three hot girls go home and leave me alone serving the entire restaurant. After about two weeks of this I was down to seven credits (I only needed three to graduate). Yet even after I gave part of my school time away I refused to give away my friend time. At this point I knew that something had to give. I refused to drop any more classes, I enjoyed them entirely too much, and it was my last term at college so I wasn't going to give up my friends. So one I night I called and sad that I wasn't going to be in in the morning or ever again.

So I had four more weeks to kill and all sorts of free time. I spent a lot of it at the computer lab playing online poker and writing the beginning of what would become my novel. I also talked to my parents and assured them that even though I was graduating that I didn't want to walk (for reasons of cost, but also because I'm saving that for when I get my masters degree). I had the time that I needed so that I read like a madman. Things for my classes, things for fun. I had time to go on roadtrips with Dennis down to Eugene to visit Jeremiah.

I knew that the summer was coming soon, and I've haven't had a summer in recent memory, or maybe ever, that wasn't so filled with events that I was just left completely exhausted and burnt out by the end. SO I enjoyed my leisure and passed all of my classes. I said my goodbyes to everybody and I headed back home. My brother was there, he had moved home from Utah (made it so that Utah was no longer my plan). I would work at Kahneeta, but then, that's the beginning of another story.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Spring Break - My Possible Future (Post-Collegiate Depression Part 2)

So I went to work at Kah-Nee-Ta for one day. I put in a sixteen hour day so that it would pay for a pretty good chunk of my trip. (My mom had convinced me to go to Utah instead of Mexico by saying that she would pay for half of the plane ticket, plus all of my friends bailed on the Mexico trip yet again.)

Marie Kay was upset because I was not going to be working at all during the next week (I was working on the Saturday that Spring Break started and was leaving on Sunday). "You're killing me Kellan," she would constantly say. Throughout our whole time working together I let her think that she had some sort of control over what I was doing. She was very upset when I shattered that assumption and let her know that all along I was doing what she wanted because it aligned with my goals. The second her wishes conflicted with my goals, well, obviously I don't work there anymore. That was the last day that I ever worked for her, even though I went back to work at Kah-Nee-Ta, but more on that later.

So after my one day of work, I was pretty annoyed because I really wasn't needed that day. It made it easier for everyone else, but it was nowhere near as busy as Marie Kay had made it sound like it would be. So I went out partying that night with my friends because it was the only night I could hang out with them during Spring Break. In the morning my Dad took me to Government Camp and passed me off to my sister. She then took me to the airport and I was on my way to Utah.

On the plane I read "The Natural" by Bernard Malamud. Let me tell you that this book is amazing. If you've ever seen the movie, well, I can't even tell you how angry watching the movie made me. Totally different ending. I mean, I understand that some things need to change because it is a different art form. But changing the ending changes the essence of the story. Anyway, just the fact that I got to read "The Natural", plus sitting next to a hottie on the charter from Portland to Seattle, made it so I love flying. Yeah for planes.

My brother picked me up at the Las Vegas airport with our buddy Mikey. Mikey had a cast on, "Let me tell you that you DO want to rent the wrist brace for snowboarding." It made for good jokes all week, especially when people would accidentally use his scratching fork. Gross, but funny.

One of my purposes for coming to visit was to see whether or not I wanted to move to Cedar City upon graduating. Let me tell you my first impression of my brother's place was the first sign that I wanted the answer to be yes. You see, as I arrived there were people drinking. "Kellan," yelled the ones who had met me before. "You have arrived at the perfect time my friend. For you see, we have just bought a case of Everclear. We proceeded to drink the night away, while my brother sat in his room and played video games. But that is best left for an entirely seperate blog that I'll probably never write.

I had an amazing week. I hung out with all the guys and there were hot girls aplenty. One was even hitting on me a whole bunch, but I was a little wierded out by the fact that she'd dated my brother. I'd probably be a lot more successful with women if I didn't let that type of stuff get to me, but the girls down there really just saw me as a drinking version of my brother. You know, just way more social and willing to do things. Plus it was a lot of fun to be hanging out with my peeps, a whole slew of jack-mormons. It was amazing how easily I fit in, or maybe not so amazing, I'm not really sure.

There was snowboarding, going out to the bar, watching movies. This was my introduction to "Boondock Saints" as well as "Firefly". Shooting beer bottles in the back yard with an air rifle and attending parties. Going to the tattoo shop - I think I remember Mikey getting something pierced, I'm assuming an ear. I love that crazy guy.

And when it was time to go home I had decided that I would be moving to Cedar City from Corvallis. What changed? Tune in next time as I finish college and head further down the path of instability.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Post-Collegiate Depression - Part 1

It all started in the Winter Term of my final year of college. Because before that term I had things all figured out. I had a plan for what was going to happen to me after college. It was easy. I would graduate at the end of term, go on my spring break trip to Mexico, and then come back to a promotion at my summer job. I would work full-time (plus some) and pay off the debt that I had accrued at college.

This plan was quickly derailed in the course of one week. Plus something happened to me during the term, I'm not exactly sure when it was, although I can remember the moment. I was at Stever and Marjorie's place hanging out. I walked into the kitchen to throw a piece of trash away and it hit me. I thought of myself as a writer. That was what I wanted to do with myself. Now my summer job was waiting tables. I was set-up to be a supervisor upon graduation. Then I went to work on Valentine's day.

(A quick aside. There may have also been a girl that I really like that I went on a date with the Thursday before Valentine's Day that may have affected my wishes to move back to Central Oregon. There was only one date, but I didn't know that that was what was happening until later. And good luck getting that story out of me. Turns out I'm something of a moron.)

I went back to work at Kah-Nee-Ta for a weekend. The whole time on the way back I was complaining about how I didn't really even want to work. How I couldn't believe that I'd ever agreed to such a purely preposterous proposition (alliteration is funny). So I worked the whole weekend, I got like 24 in two days or some such nonsense. I was not enjoying myself at all while it was happening.

(Another quick aside. I loved my job at Kah-Nee-Ta. I mean I loved it so much. I was good at it, heck, I was great at it. But then, well, that's what I'm explaining isn't it.)

So towards the end of it all, it's like noon on Sunday and right after work Dennis and I were headed back over the mountain to school, I start talking about the upcoming spring break trip. You see my friends and I scheduled a spring break trip to Mexico every year and never went. So I was trying to get everyone to go this year because it was my final spring break. Some of the guys, the guys who worked at the resort all year long, said they couldn't go because the boss had them working that whole week. Later she overheard me talking to other people and she let me know that I too would be working the whole week of spring break. I let her know that I would not be doing that. Then Dennis and I returned to school.

It was at that moment when my boss, who I'd had a crush on since I'd started working there three years earlier, put my spring break at jeopardy that I decided that I would never work for her again. (I did work for her again, for one more day, to help pay for my spring break trip.) So I went back to school intent on not having my future be out at the resort. I went to the career fair, the only booth that interested me was the Peace Corps booth, and began to apply for jobs in the Corvallis area. I also spoke with my advisors about staying for one extra term (really it was just not graduating early, but now I feel like I'm bragging).

The Peace Corps thing went well until they found out I didn't have any community service hours at during my collegiate experience. It was hard to fit that in with my constant drinking and smoking, plus the homework and the working on odd weekends. Plus road trips and nights of poker. Video games and movies. I mean I could have done some, I guess, but I didn't. So it was decided that I wasn't going to the Peace Corp. (I'd be about one year in right now if I'd gone.)

Shortly after the career fair I called my boss, Marie Kay, and let her know that I would not be starting full time at the end of the term, instead I was going to stay at school for one more term and enjoy the end of my college experience. I had no plans for what I would be doing after college, when all through college I knew exactly where I was going. It was at this point that I began drifting. I just didn't know it yet.

To be continued...

Monday, February 20, 2006

My Life is Boring

So I thought that I'd give a little bit of an update as to what has been going on in my life. Not that there's much news, but I find that once I start writing this type of thing that there is way more news than I could have imagined.

First big piece of news isn't really mine, it's my brother's news. He is getting married in June. Within fifteen minutes of hearing the news I'd already heard three different people (my brother, my mom, and my dad) crack jokes about how now the pressure is on for me. I don't think they're very funny.

I am still working for Wells Fargo in a shitty dead end job. It would be different if I was actually hired on by the company, but I'm still just a temp. Hopefully my employment takes a turn for the better in the near future.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time delving into the world of comic books. It's been a lot of fun, but a tad spendy. I really needed some sort of hobby though, and why not go back to one that I loved so much as a kid? Been having some ideas for my own comic bouncing around in my head. We'll see what comes of it, especially since my four year-old niece draws better than I do. My new favorite comic writer and artist is Jim Mahfood. Maybe it's just because his company is called 40 oz comics, or maybe it's that his characters drink and smoke like I do. Who knows?

My novel that I "finished" back in October has finally begun making it's rounds. So far four people have finished it and I've interrogated two of them. The other two should know that at some point I'm going to give a call and ask some odd questions. I also have a couple of other people that I'm supposed to send the book to. Hopefully I'll have it really finished before the end of the year. I already know that there needs to be some pretty significant changes.

I'm still waiting on the t-shirt that Abel said he'd make me. It's going to be a good one. He's doing it to make fun of this very blog. Oh, how exciting.

The internet is working at home again. I'm quite excited about it. Now I'll be able to actually check my e-mail on a regular basis.

And that is the update of my currently not so exciting life. But then the fun part is that I have no idea what this week will bring. Maybe something fun and exciting, or maybe me playing too much video games and reading a bunch of comics. Either way I'm sure I'll enjoy myself.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Justin - or a study in inaction

I once knew a man who did nothing but burn bridges. It wasn't an active burning of bridges so much as he just refused to put out the flames once they had started. He could have, but at the same time he'd rather be alone on an island than take the effort to put out them flames.

I first met him as he was trying to reaquire a group that he could belong to. You see he had had a falling out with a group of people and refused to associate with any of them (he only had a problem with a couple of the people, but as the group tended to hang out with those two people he was left unable to hang out with any of the group anymore). I actually knew the group he'd had a falling out with but I rarely associated with them (I see them more now, not sure why).

So we began to hang out and had a pretty good time together. Did all sorts of stuff, I mean we were hanging out almost every day. Parties and bars and drugs and runs to the corner store. Movies and video games and even a camping trip. I once wrote a story about a camping trip that I took my freshman year in college. The story moves on to tell how that group of people that had such an amazing time camping eventually fell apart. I could retell that story of Crater Lake except substitute the people from freshman year for the people that I met this year. But instead I'll just concentrate on the one, the rest of them are way too depressing to talk about too much.

So you are probably asking yourself how it all fell apart. And I will tell you. It wasn't all his fault, nothing ever is, but inaction is a choice that people make and it was his inability to choose a course of action that led him away from the group. My first sign that things were not going to end well was when I first began to hang out with Pauline. It's all coming back to me that this is why I began to hang out with the group that he no longer did. I'd known them all since college, but Pauline was new to me so I started hanging out with them more often. Which meant that buddy boy, Justin, refused to come and hang out when they were around, equating to me seeing less of him. You see, he could have tried to make amends with his former friends, they wanted to reconcile with him, but he refused. He took their stoner move as a stab in the back. Admittedly they missed his birthday, which I would be super pissed about too, but not so pissed as to ostracize myself from them.

Fast forward to a few months later and we still hang out, but not quite as much. I basically come home from work every day to Jemma and Justin, with an occasional Rachelle or Roman thrown in there, sitting in my living room smoking pot. I didn't know it, none of us did (maybe we would have if our minds weren't so clouded by the smoke) but this little set-up spelled trouble. You see (just an aside here, my readership is very small, I'm guessing around three or four people will actually set eyes on this, but I'm practicing for the future so I'm actually trying to explain as much as I feel is necessary for a person who knows nothing about me and my friends to understand what the hell I'm talking. Also, thank you to you three or four readers.) Jemma was dating Abel. But Justin and her were developing a friendship. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just you should always remember when making friends with the opposite sex you have to make sure to be on the signifacant other's good side.

So what happened? Well Jemma and Abel broke up. Which meant that Jemma was no longer able to greet me at home with offerings of marijuana. Which meant that Justin was no longer around with offerings of marijuana. Which was fine. It does not bother me to come home to an empty quiet house, it just means I get to read in piece. But it meant that Justin and Jemma were now hanging out, unchaperoned, outside of our pad. This in itself is not a crime, the transgression comes later.

I actually talked with Justin a little bit after the break-up. I remember telling him to be careful after he told me he was going to continue hanging out with Jemma. You see I knew that I didn't want to even mess with that. I'd done it once before, sorry Jake, and definitely took things farther than Justin did, but when I was confronted I didn't piddle around and put off confrontation. Okay maybe a bit but I'm getting sidetracked here, not everything is about ME you know.

Abel and Justin had a talk too. Abel laid down some very simple rules for Justin. I don't actually know what the rules were, but I'm fairly certain that they wouldn't be too hard to stick to. Anyway, one night Abel and Dennis and I are drinking. We decide to invite over Adam and Casey. Abel asked me if I'd talked to Justin lately. I said it had been over a week. Abel said that he'd been trying to get ahold of him for three or four days without any sort of success.
(Here's a good time to explain a fine point in dealing with ex-boyfriend's. If you are their friend, and are hanging out with their ex-girlfriend and your friend calls, you should answer the phone. If you are unable to, too stoned, drunk, in a movie, coitus, whatever, then you should call them back. That same day. If you don't then you are guilty until proven innocent. We're not the American Justice system here, we're a bunch of confused young adults who need to do everything we can to look out for ourselves.)

So Casey and Abel have a little talk. I still don't know the details of the talk. I just know that Abel came out of that conversation with a look of rage in his eye, achilles style rage. It had a been a really long time since I'd heard him yell like that. And he hasn't done it since, I'm sure he will, because that's part of who he is. And, unfortunately, Abel called up Justin at around 1:30 in the morning and proceeded to yell most furiously at his voice mail. I tried to explain that Justin would be sleeping and it would probably be best to talk to him in the morning, but then Abel reminded me of the calls that Justin had already refused to return. So Abel yelled mean threats at Justin and declared that he was banned from stepping foot in our apartment. I would have protested if I had not already banned a couple of other people from ever stepping foot in my residence. So instead I just understood where he was coming from and went with it.

I visited Justin once after this happened. The point was for me to go and talk to him and urge him to speak with Abel so they could get the whole stupid thing behind them. But inaction was what Justin wanted to go with. He sat and watched as his bridges burned. He was now out of the group. He had Jemma and her cohort as part of his new pseudo-group, but unfortunately for him Jemma reappeared as a character at our apartment.

The really quick break-down is that Abel and Jemma broke-up. This caused Justin to be banished. Does it make any sense, no, of course it doesn't. But that's what happened. If he ever wanted to get a beer, I'd probably do it. But he sure has made it hard for me to be able to hang out with. I'm a group jumper and he is now not allowed around two of the groups. It's just too bad it had to go down like that.